i privatized this blog. only me and you could access them.
Hopefully, you might accept my invitation to read my blog. and post your thoughts in here too. maybe with this, we could finally clear the air around us.
These few days,i was desperately asking from friends i trust, seeking for sound advices they could provide me.
Honestly, am i really forcing my feelings on you? if it is, im really sorry.
When i was celebrating chinese new year with my old mates, all of them had their girlfriend brought along. looking at them, admiring and happy for them to the fact that they were attached at last.
but looking in the mirror of my own, i see myself as a lonely man.
i always wondered whenever i see couples hugging and kissing, or even just holding hands. wondering when you and me are gonna be that way. when would that day come.
It already happened couple of times in my dreams, but never came in reality.
i dont want to wake up from this dream
listening to your sister advices, i really felt bad. i realised that i really am giving you the pressure. always did.
who knows, maybe you dont even love me like i thought you would. maybe i was just only the willing party here.
i dont know.
honestly, i never knew whether you do/ do not have any feelings for me.
i was never assured.
now you dont want to reply me, which somehow made even more sense, that i am really forcing my feelings onto you.
i am really really really really sorry. i dont know what is going on in your life right now.
are you really hurt?
are you really suffering inside?
because of me?
if i am the source of this hurt and trouble. maybe i should really end your misery.
and kill myself with silence, rather than hurting you.
i dont wanna see you sad/hurt baby. please reply me.
even a word will do.
