my worst nightmare happened

today was the festival of light., which means, HOLIDAY for us!
DEPAVALI (whatever it's spelt as)
it really sad and kind of an insult to the indian. WHY?
the calender had the wrong date on depavali.it was actually on tues.
sorry man!

anyway. i was suppose to go shopping with my friends, but they put aeroplane on me.(cause their other friend's dad treating them pool and snooker.which im not really interested in playing today)

so im like super free? decided to get my hair dyed by the hands of my most trusted hair saloonist.
so i entered the crowded place.waited for my turn( turns out to be like FOREVER?)
FINALLY. after 1hour, my turn came.

SALOONIST: so what hair you wanna cut? like last time?
ME: hmm.nah.(points at the handsome guy on some jap magazine), i want this.
SALOONIST: okay, wanna try something new i learnt recently?
ME: ooooo. okay lorh. up to you.

doze off by the gentle brushes of the scissors.
woked up randomly.
CHECK IT OUT! (i almost look like the picture luh.)
so i went back to sleep while the person continue to cut my hair.

woked up by the ammonia used to perm hair.
OHMYGOSH!
my hair was in the midst of afro-ing!
told the saloonist that i dont wanna be afro-ed. so she curled my hair instead.

here's the process of the curling of hair.secretly took a picture when the saloonist went to the loo.( im shy naturally:X )

LOOK! IM INDIAN(just nice depavali somemore)! ahaha. i wobbled my head out of enthusiasm, and the towel together with the round-thingy on my head wobbled. almost made the saloonist rolled on the floor laughing.

luckily she wasnt cuting my hair at that time. or else my ears would be accidentaly snipped off already T.T

that perm and the trim of my hair completely burned a hole in my pocket.and my hair LOOKS LIKE SHIT NOW.(not the face ok. the face is still as cute as ever.ahaha)
right now, i look so korean-ny(in a ugly way)

OK. im going off and hide in 1 corner to emo about my new hair.
catch me tomorrow people.
and PLEASE dont laugh at me when you see me:( PLEASE?
seeya T.T

can i borrow $25?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'

DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.

SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.

'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.

'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

nags and drags of life

wednesday
went out with mah SIS! haha. it was the coolest day ever. we should catch up with each other more often. so many deep talks. needless to say, ENJOYABLE too (of cause la, got me ma :X joking)
_
thursday
world came crashing down on me altogether. smiles that i've been wearing everyday just faded by itself when i heard a crushing news.(adding with other problems that i've been tryin to get over with)
it was so heavy and i almost couldnt catch my breath even for a sec.

i need an escape.
smoking naturally seemed like an option. (completely forgotten about God. as i've already begun magnifying my problem)
moment of folly.dissapointed people.
although there wasnt any good reason enough to say why i should even start smoking.
but i just need an escape at that point of time. even if it was shortlived. i dont care.
I JUST NEED IT.

Big step
gaved away my cigarettes to friends to stop myself from continue-ing.

even when i was at the brink of tears, there wasnt any.
dried up long ago along with the 2k girl.
-dont bother asking unless i want to share to you.

sorted my thoughts.thanks for the support of prayers(coregroup) and two good friend (super thankyou, especially to one, cause you mean alot to me)

Reality check.
back to where i was, with all that problems fighting among themselves to get my attention.

how am i gonna deal with it? time will tell.

tired.of living.of loving.of enjoying.of crying.(basically everything)
giving up will never be in my dictionary. i know (i choose to believe) that every taste of failure is the beginning of strength.

who would be willing to be my superhero? Rescue me. Take me away.

the whee hours

Saturday
BAD MORNING ALARM
Some idiot living above me was playin marbles early in the morning(like 5am?) and obviously woke me up.
These people should probably get squeeshed by a truck.(never disturb my sleep. i'll wake up with a short temper.)
Fell alseep like finally after tossing and turning for like a few hours.ANOTHER idiot beside me(my neighbour) was blasting their stereo about this crying scene in a korean drama at about 9-10am plus(estimate). it was very disturbing.

imagine ME getting up out ofmy own bed by this sound, felt like screaming at the top of my lungs at whoever it is that's making the sound,find any possible thing i could reach and just throw at them. but i CANT. which makes it even more frustrating.

cause they're MY NEIGHBOURS (must be in good terms with them. so next time when you need help, they'll be willing to lend a hand.)

went to eat breakfast-lunch at 1pm (together) with my family.Dad's friends joined in(obviously they planned it without me knowing.)
so they ordered seafood delicacies, and i hadta eat whatever they ordered.

they dont even give me a chance to order what i want.even if they do. mum will give me that look"show some manners you faggot".

so whatever.lunching with them was bad although food was expectionally good(i cant deny that).i was SO OUTCASTED by the advanced hokkien languages they used.
seemed so bangla-ish(unknown) to me. so i plugged myself with my trusty mp3 and hopefully chant my lyrics till they're done chatting.

just when im at the peak of the song, i was about to sing at the top of my voice (flexing every microscopic muscles inside my lungs just for that moment) inside my head, dad gave me that look "OIE.dont no manners la. uncle talk to you, you listen to mp3."

Mood completely dampened
Jammed my mp3 back into my pocket and listen to the garbage they're talking about (pretended i was listening by reply."oooh..ahhhh.. orhhhh.)

ahpeks do somehow gimme an impression of them being highschool girls in some way(if you take a closer look); bitching about things that happened yesterday so on and forth..(not interested in uncle talk)

Played mahjong at night till the next morning(sunday).
lost quite alot in the beginning, but made a comeback.(my friend said i got possessed by red dragon cause it kept following me wherever i go)
In the end, i only won 3 miserable bucks-that is my breakfast (prata egg and kosong along with iced milo)

Sunday
my eyes betrayed me and fell asleep.so i had no choice but to cab home while forcing it open till i reach home.
bathed,felt refresh and wide awake(still tired inside) cause of the cold water i bathed with:/
blew my hair, switched on aircon, dragged my curtain to a close, lit candles up(didnt really happen, act Lomantic mah. ahha), and wenta sleep.

peaceful and comfortable sleep it certainly was. woke up at 1pm with magically dapao-ed food infront of my desk.
switched on my laptop, daydreamed and felt tired and attacked my bed.(my desk and my bed are just 30++ cm away)

woke up just minutes ago, magically delivered macdonalds appeared at my desk again. how i wished everyday would be like today.but ohwell, all good things must come to an end.

that's all i wanted to share about my weekend. dont really wanna go in that detailed cause im still having the after-effects of 'just woke up' syndrome

In a blink of an eye..
Finally, the last chapter of my weekend are over.
cant wait for tomorrow to come.
(i still like weekends too. but i prefer weekdays more, cause i get to crap with people i like)

Brushed my oily mouth with my naked arms with a bloated stomach, signing off
Seeya soon!

beautiful smokes of mirage

Another awesome day jotted down with a tick :)
today was sucha long day.
stupid flu got me today :(
Sucha pain in zeh neck having a flu that was helplessly flowing freely out. DAMN the tissues run out so fast.(personal thanks to jenn, teckhuat, jiahui and practical lab's toilet roll. for using up their tissues)

Was planing to buy panadol cold relief. but its like 7plus bucks. and in a bulk package? why would i need so much.
So i bought this Axe brand medicated oil in 7/11
it costs like 4.30SGD. so expensive.DAYLIGHT ROBBERY.

Ate KFC at fc5. disturbed charles friend/whatever. but i dont know who the heck she is._.
well, its just for the sake of fun (guess im still as immature as ever:( )

STUPID charles wanna smoke. and i followed him. tried the cigar (vanilla flavoured) nigel gaved him.
-> once in a life time mah. somemore its CIGAR leh.
you only see rich people smoke that. so i want know how it feels, taste and smells like being rich.
and it SUCKED (indescribably yucky) although theres abit sweetness here and there.but the burnt wood smell is so heavy, it seriously stinks my breath.lucky there's a whole artillery of mentos available in 7/11. my cigar experiences are so totally over.

Went to club tuh relax.met kim.she must've missed me luh. called me, say wanna steal my undies in my bag (haha.opps:P)

Back to main point-
so i was naturally rubbing the axebrand medicated oil on my nose.
This idea just suddenly stuck us on using the medicated oil "to the fullest extent".
so we played the "dont guess that number" and "guess what's ontop of my own head" game.
Whoever got that unlucky number has to rub the medicated oil on their eyes.
everyone got tried atleast once. but i was that unlucky ass that gotta forfeit three times.
trust me. it stings ure eyes like crap. and i teared (not cause im sad ok :( )
and the sting lasts for like FOREVER? washed my eyes with water after that.
it was FUN though. should try that someother time again.

well. thats pretty much of my day unless you wanna hear me whine about the lectures.
guess i'll stop here for today. tired of typing. catch ya'll soon.
MONDAY faster come! although friday just ended like few hours ago. you know what i meant do you? ^^
if not, too bad:P
_
Dedicated to someone. it might be you. yet it might not be.
Let the guessing begins. HAHA! im eviL :)

singing at the top of my voice

aloha!
a self-declared holiday. was anticipating the fun and laughters of companion-ship with my classmates but not much of my classmates turned up. except fo' jenn,maur, and nigel (i didnt know he was coming) >;/

sidetrack- puie charles! go out with girl only, dont want to out with me. me sad.me jealous.
BO JIO.haha.



my first picture of myclassmates in Sem 2. will there be more of this? i hope so too:)


I took a picture of a girl I once knew
I kept it here incase I'd run into you
The look on your face could light up a room
But instead you left (cause you went home mah. ahah)
And now I'm sitting with my head on the dashboard
Push the seat back and close my eyes
I had this dream that I was on an airplane
Afraid to fly

school reopen!

SCHOOL REOPEN! urrrrrrgggggh!
Having mixed feelings about school re-opening. I missed my classmates and the fun we're gonna have, but still, i couldnt bear to say goodbye to my happy holidays. sniffs sniffs~

Miraculously i was able to wake up at 7am.WOOTS(lessons starts at 8am. and i slept at 3am.)

Im on a bust trip!
It was a ride of sleeping logs. As i strolled forward to the back of the bus, searching for available seats(im a weak boy:( i need to sit down), caught some glimpses of adults/students using every slightest bit of opportunity in the bus to catch a sleep before they alight at their arrived destination. It was a funny scene.(try to imagine different kinds of funny faces they made while they were asleep.) :/
of cause,i got bored looking at them and laughing to myself (and it looks so retarded laughing alone) and began looking at trees and trees and TREES passing by me as the bus moves forward with my ever faithful and trusty mp3 plugged into my ears.
the whole experience was like a de javu once again.

School bell~ (ok. there wasnt any bell actually. just giving you a helping hand with your imagination)
Went through countless of briefings with different lecturers, introducing us about the subjects we're taking.
and SHIT! Lessons on our first day. WOW, so much for being called the first day of school.
As expected, my brain automatically shutted itself when the lecturer started her lessons after going through the introduction of the Module we're taking.(who wouldnt? im still stuck in holiday mood.)
I was hypnotised into slumber and without fail, idrooled(not much luh. like two drops?)Countless of people were drooling their heads off during lectures, Guess im no loner. :X
and HOLY, i almost forgot how to even write my name.(i took my pen, stared at the paper blankly like for10secs wondering how to draw strokes of my own name.LOL.)

what 'made' my day was this particular teacher. He's so OBNOXIOUS and carried a 'please beat me up' face written all over his face with that attitude of his.
Called a friend of mine aunty, and mentioned about publishing a book of the 1oo1 excuses students make when they fail to hand up their assignments on time. Throughout the briefing, he kept emphasizing and repeating the word DOCTOR, followed by his surname.com'on luh. we're not dumb to know you're a degree holder.(so stop showing off.)
On top of that, his jokes were like, h ........a........................ h............. a.
you dont even know where to laugh at cause its neither cold nor funny.
boring day for me. didnt do much. except thinking how im gonna survive my entire semester with that obnoxious teacher in mind.
like no? die.
ok enough of him, im already losing my appetite.

end of school, i went home straight. fell asleep watching some indian dramas(cause there was nothing else to watch). when i woke up i was like WOW, i slept for 4 hours.guess i need to re-adjust my body clock once again.
i didnt get much to catch up with some people, and i felt abit weird relating to them cause we didnt update much to each other about ourselves for 2month period holiday.
Hope tomorrow's gonna be a better day.

cute students

Read this wondefully-compiled post, and you'll finally get to know the pityful and sad side of being a teacher.
Click on them to enlarge if its illegible

life in singapore

In Singapore , the majority of us live in Highly Dangerous Buildings (HDB), and most people have already got used to Paying and Paying (PAP).
Not only do you have to pay, you Pay Until Bankrupt (PUB).
If that's not enough, somebody still Purposely Wants to Dig (PWD)and get more from you.
So what more can you do when you are in the Money Only Environment (MOE)?
With the current Mad Accounting System (MAS), you are forced to Pay the Sum Ahead (PSA),Which will leave some people Permanently Owing Some Banks (POSB).
And forced to live on the Loan Techniques Always (LTA) system.
When you fall sick and happen to be admitted to a Money Operating Hospital (MOH), You might be able to use your Cash Prior to Funeral (CPF)fund.
If you are out of luck, you may meet doctors who Never Use Heart (NUH) to treat you, and you will be Sure to Give up Hope (SGH).
To help ease the traffic, motorists have to pay Cash On Expressway (COE).
If that doesn't help, they can always Eternally Raise Prices (ERP)on the roads.
If you don't own a car, you can always make a Mad Rush to the Train (MRT), OR get squashed in a bus Side By Side (SBS ).
Lastly, under all these pressures, there are not many places we can relax, not even the good old place we used to go because it has become So Expensive and Nothing To See Actually (SENTOSA)!

MY TESTIMONY IN CHINA MISSION TRIP!

HEYA!
im about to share was about my mission trip to CHINA! are you ready PEEPS? I CANT HEAR YOU? OO00o.......
_
Background-i am always trying very hard to find God in the things that i do and serve, but God keep playing hide and seek with me. ( it was because i was expecting something else but God show up in another way,yet i failed to realise it) .And at that point of time i really struggling whether my effort was worthwhile and was at the brink of giving up(AGAIN) and suddenly during discipleship, brother Rixiang ask me whether i would like to go for china mission trip, and i said yea. maybe i should give it a last try giving at least myself a chance and God a chance.
_
Before the china mission trip, i purposely didn't let my cellgroup and others know that im going to china mission trip until the very last min.(like the week before the mission trip)
However the news got out ( cause people that was going MT with me didn't know the reason why i dont wanna tell people that im not going to mission trip, so they blurted it all out)

Well, the fact that i don't want to let people know that im going to mission trip until the very last minute, because being an backslidden christian that got out of leadership, people are surely giving me the looks that "hey! why is this guy going to china mission trip? moreover its a leader kind of trip, is he right for that job anot? are you sure he's prepared for it?"
Although they didnt really say this infront of me, but the looks on their face says it all.

Frankly speaking, it was a big discouragement,but i was already too excited and ecstatic to be bothered about it because it was brother Rixiang that gave me this rare opportunity to go to this Mission trip. it dint really affect me much at first but it did later on in the trip.( i'll explain again)

_
During the trip i really learn to walk with God closely, like when i was afraid to approach a stranger, God used sister Diana and Weiyan to push me and help me along the way. God really do provide:like normally we see blessings like money, family togetherness. But for this case, it was group support, which is just what we need. God knows it all, and provided it along the way.
Through this group support, we learn to make full use of each others strengths, instead of picking on their weakness.
Weiyan- more of logic, sister Diana- process minded(step 1 first, then step two, then step three, on and on).

and thankfully through sister Diana,
God taught me the right way to improve my relationship with people, and with Him- i am that kind of person that likes to take shortcuts. as long as the final result seems ok, i'll tryin to take the shortest route. even if it means that i invent one, when i cant find one.

God also made conversations possible with the new found friends we made( its almost impossible to substain a conversation with a stranger for 30mins)
and we DID it in 4HOURS! amazing how it turned out to be when you really depend on God. Praise Him!

_
ok. you've heared so much, and now you thinking that my faith and confidence with God and His plan are skyhigh.
yes, you're right! for the moment. and now, im not
that's when i remembered how people looked down on me, how i was being unfair etc.(com'on, im human, we're used to think negative things even where there's whole lot of positive things that could encourage us yet we chose not to. like i said, im not perfect)

just then, POOF! GOD did something miraculous in my life again!(wanna know about it? WANNA? WANNA? you're just as excited as me,even though im the writer myself ._.")
background -everynight before we sleep. we were suppose to share about our day and what we learn. we did it all, and its time to sleep cause we're so drop dead tired.
that night was the most memorable night ever.
brother Rixiang suddenly told us to encourage each other from our left and right (it was not planned,and we went even further to encourage everyone instead), and through that encouragment one-one(face to face),God gave me new found strength and confidence to stand firm for Him.Gosh! no words can really explain how God really impacted me.
like when im down, God just came in and whoosh! and blew me away with His works in me. Praise God again!
and of cause through the encouragement, we learn to speak whats on our mind and appreciate them with our mouths (which is so un-singaporean, so it was a breakthrough for all of us to really speak our hearts out to encourage one another)
_
well, these are the testimonies that God gaved me through this amazing and wonderful mission trip and i Dare to challenge you guys out there! do not be determined by who people think you are, but be destined to who God thinks you are! have a little faith in yourself, and in God, cause look, He made a me a better man. and im sure He will to you, if you really let Him into your lives. and i really mean REALLY LET Him in. and really, as you can see when i was down, God gave me a situation to choose to work with Him,which i did (encouragement: like i said, its very un-singaporean to appreciate another verbally and you have to look at that person eyes somemore! im a shy boy too >< ), and through that He gaved me steel-like faith and confidence .that hey! i wasnt let our from God plan at all! and also dont bottle God up, because by doing that, we're limiting him, and we will not get the result because it is not God-given but man-given instead-LIKE what PD said, do mans way and get mans result. do Gods way and get Gods result;) ____________________ smexy LIBIN-zealot 1.2